RedDish
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #1 |
Jen, we were just talking (over in "Acupuncture") about the Anji Cd's. I haven't got the Fertile Soul. Let me know how you like it. I had a really low, pitty-me day yesterday, feeling hopeless and infertile.  So I did a little Internet research and learned a few new things. I had never heard of a chemical pregnancy before (where you get a faint positive HPT but lose it quickly, and I never knew when implantation really occurred. Apparently about 75% of the time it occurs 8-10 DPO, and I was just arriving at day 8. That snapped me out of my pathetic state! I'd was already projecting failure before my body even had a chance. And then I looked at a long and lengthy list of early pregnancy symptoms lots of women reported having while waiting for AF. Most of them had nothing more than their regular PMS symptoms and were actually surprised that they got a BFP. So I've decided this blue-sy, negative state I've allowed myself to slump into during the last week of my cycle is just not necessary any more.  After that mind shift, I decided to do a little EFT for Fertility and Gratitude, which I thought was strangely simple at first. But I was surprised that some of the the suggested emotional statements were right on for me and I sometimes burst into tears when I said them, giving them a 8, 9, or 10 on the pain scale, but after all of the tapping, rated them 3, 4, or 5. Strange? Yes. Works? Yes. Somehow it seems to help me come to peace with things, even though I don't like them. I feel better today. How are you doing?
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Jen
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 12
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Reply with quote | #2 |
RedDish- Thanks for starting this new thread. It seems more appropriate. I had a very busy weekend but all is good. I actually scrapbooked all day yesterday and it was very healing. I need to do more stuff like that. It is good for me. How many DPO are you now? You have to be getting close. Too bad I can't see your chart from here. When is your first session with J. Bloome? I am glad you had success with acupuncture. It seems you feel good about making the transition to J. Bloome sessions. The timing must be right. I got the Fertile Soul CD. I have only listened to a third of it but I like it a lot. It is very relaxing and that is what I need. I am hoping it will create peace for me through the TWW. I am only on CD 6 now. I gave up on any symptoms as an indication of pregnancy. It just made me crazy. I'd feel stuff and over think it. Last month I was symptom free so I thought for sure that was a symptom in itself. Last week I learned I will be changing jobs in two weeks. It is a little nerve wracking and so I am trying to decompress from the whole thing. I work for a firm in which one partner is leaving and going to another firm. I will be going, too. So, new employer, same work. I have faith it will all work out, just a little stressful. Tomorrow is the HSG. I can't wait until that is over  Have a great Monday!!!!
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RedDish
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #3 |
Jen, Be sure you take your own favorite maxi pad with you tomorrow for the HSG. The reflective fluid they inject will leak out for a few hours and the pads they give you are thick and awful. As long as they inject slowly, your cramping should me minimal. And if you are lucky, they will turn the screen toward you and you will be able to see your uterus and tubes filling up. Cool! I am 11 DPO today (I usually only go for 12 days) but my temperature is low. (98.1) This morning I was hoping it would be up and after re-taking it 4 times, I fell into an emotional black hole. I was just so angry, angry, angry. I suppose it isn't over til Aunt Flo sings, but I just felt so hopeless again. Geez! I'm a freekin' basket case. This morning during our morning walk together, I had to explain to my mother-in-law why I was so grumpy. She said, "Well, what do they have for PMS these days?" I'm not sure I could have been trusted if I had had a gun in my hand at that moment. I'm signing up with J. Bloome tomorrow morning. I hope she wont mind my blubbering. I hope your HSG goes well for you. I hope your tubes are perfectly clear. I'll be thinking of you.
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Jen
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 12
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Reply with quote | #4 |
RedDish- I am SO sorry about your temp. You are right, it is not over until AF shows. I know you feel very discouraged right now and I wish I could say something to help. You have a right to those feelings. I hope rejuvinated hope doesn't wait too long to find you. I am anxious to hear about your sessions. I am sure she is use to blubbering and that is what she is capable of helping you work through. Do you post on Fertility Friend also? Thank you for your advice on the HSG. I wouldn't have thought of the pad thing. I will definately bring one. I should throw it in my purse right now! I will be glad when it is over. DH wants to go to San Diego for the weekend of the 21st. I am torn because I am in the middle of changing jobs and it is just not a good time. I told him he should go without me because we have friends there. The problem is it right at O time....... Ugh!!!! I am being a good sport on the outside about him going but I really don't want him, too  I am sending uplifting thoughts your way. Take good care of yourself!!! Here's to rising temps and BFP's!!!!!!
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RedDish
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #5 |
Hey Jen! How'd it go? Did you get some feedback while you were there? AF is singing, loudly. Drat! At least I feel better. The last few days when the hormones are raging are just so difficult. It actually feels like a huge relief now. And so we go again for another round.  PS Today I am glad I didn't shoot my mother-in-law.
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Jen
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 12
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Reply with quote | #6 |
RedDish- Hi! I was struggling to post because I had to change my e-mail address and I kept goofing it up. I am so sorry AF found you! You have a great outlook! I am too glad you didn't shoot your MIL!  The HSG went well. My tubes are clear! Yippee!!! We have an appointment for DH's SA tomorrow. It is a two hour drive but not a big deal. I was planning on taking tomorrow off so in the morning I could clean out my closet and ork on a paper for a class I am taking. But, DH just called and said he wants to go early, get a room at the resort, get massages, have the SA done, have dinner and come back on Saturday! How Sweet!!!! Next week is my last week at my current job. So, I am trying to wrap things up and get ready for the new opportunity. The anxiety I have about it is taking the place of the usual TTC anxiety  I am only on CD9 so thre is plenty of time for that! Will you do a round of IUI this cycle? Did you do injectables? I am not really sure what that involves but I have heard of it. Have a great day!!!!
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RedDish
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #7 |
Jen, Wow! That's great news about your tubes being clear. And your DH is amazing, suggesting the extra perks on your SA trip. My sister is also TTC, and her husband literally froze with fear when he went for his SA. I guess he just didn't want to know that he could be the problem. In a way, I'd much rather have found a problem. Because then you can focus on treating it. Otherwise, we are just left alone with our head trips, hoping, hoping there is going to be a BFP this time. I haven't been on Fertility Friend yet. Do you like it? Since it's just been you and me here, I wonder if that is where everyone else is right now.  There isn't any doubt in my mind that the stresses of jobs and such could be causing us problems. I can understand why you've been anxious about your job change. I've been pretty good lately about being aware of my stresses, and working to decrease them, however, I own a business with some people that I no longer have a healthy relationship with anymore. We only have to contact each other once a month or so with regards to Board of Directors duties. And every time I have to do even as little as a send them a short email, I become sick, dizzy, my heart races, I get cold hands and diarrhea. Yes, it is pretty bad. I wonder if this whole thing is so toxic that it could be causing my fertility woes. It isn't just about stressing over getting PG, is it? I am planning to do IUI again next cycle. Compared to the cost of IVF, IUI is a bargain. Leading up to my first IUI I took Clomid for five days, and injected on the last day to insure O. It wasn't very fun stabbing myself in the stomach so I made DH do it. He made a big deal of it and video taped it too. But because I am naturally O-ing, I decided it wasn't worth it. The side effects were awful. So I am going au-naturel, with the exception of the actual IUI. Good luck with the SA. Hope you have a nice relaxing time too. 
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Jen
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 12
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Reply with quote | #8 |
RedDish- Sorry I have been away a few days. Things are getting crazy around here with me changing jobs this week. The SA went well. DH's numbers are up a bit more and the doc seems too think we should be able to geet pregnant. Although, I did learn that they do IUI there so I am happy to know that in the event we go that route. The $45 on Fertility Friend is some of the best $45 I have spent. There is SO much support over there. The topics are of huge range, too so you usually find people with issues in common. The charting software is also great. It is nice because you can share charts easily so there are lots to view. Stress is huge on getting pregnant and who is not stressed about it????? Oh, maybe those who are not trying! It is hard to balance out. This is O week for us so we are in baby making mode. That can be stressful in itself. I hope we won't have too many more months to be trying!!! When will your next IUI be? Is your DH very supportive? Have a great day!
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RedDish
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #9 |
Oye! Crazy at work around here too. Today we had our first company board meeting. Things were intense and I needed at least one more of me today.  Tomorrow is my first day with J Bloome Phone therapy. I'm looking forward to finding some PEACE. And heck, the more homework she gives me, the better. I will look into Fertility Friend. Thanks for the heads-up. Funny thing about the fertility stress: Back in the day when I was young and stupid, I was completely stressed out about NOT getting pregnant. Sometimes I wonder if my body thinks it's supposed to still be in that mode. And now it's your "get busy" week! Of course you know your selves better than anyone, but I found it helps me a lot if I have lots of "sex paraphernalia". Ya know...toys, movies, etc. Anything that helps get my mind off babies. (BMS can be such a bore when there's only baby on my mind.) And my DH doesn't mind the extra stuff in the bedroom either, ha ha! I will do another IUI mid next week. DH is so great about it. He takes time off his busy work schedule and goes with me to all of my appointments unless I insist he doesn't need to go. How long til you get the official report about your HSG? My doctor found uterine fibroids upon closer inspection, which prompted an ultrasound. He found at least three nearly the size of (chicken) eggs and lots of others. Apparently it's a big deal getting rid of them. I'm thinking about TCM treatments first before I go under the knife. ugh! I hope your job transition goes smoothly. Changing jobs rates up there on one of life's most stressful events.
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Jen
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 12
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Reply with quote | #10 |
Hey there! For some reason I am not getting notification of a response here...ugh! Sorry for the delay. HOW WAS YOUR SESSION WITH J. BLOOME? When is the IUI? I agree with you that the BD on demand is tough. Especially month after month! I O'd on Friday so now the TWW! We go on vacation next week so that will help keep my mind off of it. My work transition is going. All the little things can make it tough. I hope after this week I will feel more settled! I hope all is well! Have a great day!
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RedDish
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #11 |
Hi Jen, Ah! The 2WW should be renamed "2 Week Torture". I'd like to be able to forget about it altogether because the day counting is just...crazy. What perfect timing for you to have a vacation. Last weeks session with J Bloome was very good. She's very attentive and even spent a little extra time with me to make sure we covered everything before hanging up. She let me talk about what's going on with me and then she customized EFT statements according to my current situations. It became obvious that not being able to conceive was only a small part of many stresses. She got to some of my core issues pretty quickly. I had been doing the EFT as described on the website articles, but doing it with her on the phone was really worth it. (Having a hands-free phone would be a good idea too). And being able to contact her by email throughout the week is really nice too. Have you tried the EFT? For the first time since I started taking my BBT, I stopped paying attention to it. I was just circling the temperature each morning without really looking. Then Saturday morning (while away with DH in a B&B), I realized it was O-day and it was too late to get to the doctors for the IUI. OOPS! I missed it! Strangely, I didn't really care too much, and this really seems to take the pressure off. Maybe this 2WW will be less torturous after all. Are you going somewhere special for your vacation?
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Jen
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 12
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Reply with quote | #12 |
Hey there! I am so glad your session with Bloome went well. I have to say, I don't know what EFT's are. What are they? It sounds like it was very helpful. I am sorry you missed the IUI this month. It sounds like you have a good attitude about it. I have been so busy crazy this month that I don't have high hopes. Our timing was good but the stress was way high with starting a new job. It has helped keep my mind off TTC. We are off to Minnesota tomorrow for a week. We are looking forward to the water and the green. We live in Arizona so we are swallowed in desert. I am debating if I should temp while we are away. Part of me says just let it go and the other part says no way! I have been enjoying my meditation CD. I do usually fall asleep I am glad you have found a bit more peace. Be well!
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RedDish
Registered: 06/27/06
Posts: 15
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Reply with quote | #13 |
Hey Jen! How was the vacation? I've just finished one month's session with J Bloome. I am looking forward to doing more but had to stop for a wee bit because of [lack of]finances. If you are signed up for the Anji Connection weekly newsletter, Jennifer writes about how to do EFT. It's a series of instructions that she's been sending out for some time now but she's got them all in the archives. You can also find lots of info if you Google it. In a nutshell...EFT (Emotional Freedom Therapy) is a way of moving "stuck" emotions by tapping certain meridian points while repeating specific phrases that prompt the emotion. On the phone with J Bloome, she asks lots of questions to get you talking about whatever is a problem for you, then she creates the phrases and tells you where to tap while you repeat the phrases after her. She's really good at helping you to get to the root of your issues, and I felt she has been very compassionate and patient with me. I suppose I could have figured out how to do the EFT on my own, except that I really needed someone like her to guide me with the direction the phrases should go. She (gently) pushed me into some directions I wouldn't have gone to on my own. If I had to rate the results of the treatment I just did with her, I'd say my improvement has been very, very good. It was definitely worth it. And as far as getting PG, I have to be honest here...I don't really feel like obsessing over it anymore. I've given myself 6 months on non-action: no BBT charts, no IUI's, no counting days, nada. And it feels good. I couldn't have said that two months ago. I've been thinking a lot about how sometimes when you want something so bad, it seems to keep moving away from you, like when you are trying to get a bit of eggshell out from a raw egg but it just keeps slipping away. So for the next six months I'm just going to focus on being healthy and balanced, and if nothing happens on it's own while I'm not paying attention, then I still have options. Whoa! did I just say that? How are you feeling these days?
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